Seasons of Love...?

Today's Christmas, and I was watching Christmas toons on Disney Channel while surfing for Wicked songs. I found out that the lead Idina Menzel was on Rent also. This reminded me of the song "Seasons of Love," which reminded me of 3rd Intensive. How it was just overflowing with love.

But something happened here at home that's no season of love.

Today's Christmas, the day our maid of 5+ years left. She had a fight with my aunt, packed her stuff and stormed out of our home. Mom had been declaring to the universe that our maid will leave. Ask and it shall be delivered.

I just felt bad that it was Christmas and it was evening. No taxis are passing by and she hadn't caught herself yet to think where she'll be staying.

I'm not writing a MMK special here. I just feel sad with what had transpired.

I feel that in a way, I am also partly responsible for not taking action. I could've counteracted the flow of events but I chose to stay in the comforts of my room when things are getting loud outside. I thought it's the usual hoolabaloo. I should have heeded when my intuition's "wang-wang" started screaming.

Man, I should stop this. It's really hard beating myself up. Pakshet mga belief system na ito! Every time I realize where these all came from, I find myself distancing my source of thousands of BSes: my mom.

I know I still feel...incomplete, so everyday I work on concretizing myself, that someday I can take back my lost childhood characteristics, and live life as life and God had intended.